ruthless yellow bastard.

i wonder sometimes if ANYONE is perceptive enough to go "why in the fuk is this blog called 'nullibicity'? i'm not gunna front, i myself looked at it tonight and was like "fuk. what does that mean again?"... so i looked it up... then it all came back. nullibicity is considered an 'obscure' word. whatever the fuk that means... it's literal definition is "the state or condition of existing nowhere", not like stagnation. it's different. it's actually a noun. thus describing 'nowhere' as a place.., but the word was argued as being arbitrary, for lacking location entailed lacking existence, and nothing exists that is non extended. get it? well, i don't want to make you think too hard about it, god forbid. but i have to say, i fuking love that word. it got me thinking a little bit about my current state of mind/ life. if something doesn't change in my life, i will be in a state of nullibicity. what good is it for me to create, when it goes unnoticed? if i'm in isolation, how does anybody know i exist? you know, shit like that. i guess i thought at one point or another, things would just work out and it went that way for a long time. it's different now. our culture is different. times have changed, friends have grown up, potential has been sold out to consumerism, substance is no longer a virtue, action has phased out into light dinner party talk.., it's fuk over your friends, judge thy neighbor, cheat on your husband or wife, call your mom on mother's day. it's all fuking shit. all of it. and here i sit wondering.. how much longer can i hold out before i break? cauz the way things are looking, eventually u break. i already getting a bit too fucking comfortable with my own company. yeah, i kinda prefer it to this freak show people refer to as normal. irony is amazing, but i'm sure that too can only take me so far. this is not a way to live. for me at least. so what now? should i say 'fuk it', sell off my shit, which i'm doing anyway cauz our great empire hath fallen, and move out of the country? i dunno. i wanna. i'm over this rant.