really, i thought i knew pretty much all fucking filthy/ hilarious, sexual terms.., like "the slippery dolphin", or the classic "dirty sanchez".. (if this is greek to you, look it up, novice. this shit is crucial)..
rarely, a time comes, where i have to face the fact that i don't know everything.. especially when it comes to the EXTENSIVE list of sexual terms, i've NEVER heard of.., and it's kind of like "damn dude, how could i not know?"... but, hey, we all gotta learn sometime? i didn't come out of the womb equipped with such knowledge. there is a process to this shit. lucky for you.. at 7:40 am (and no, i didn't wake up early, figure it out), i'm gonna share this amazing "must know", knowledge and enlighten you, like the urban dictionary enlightened me tonight.
suggestion: go out on a limb. try some of these out. you'll be surprised at the hidden filthy slut that lurks inside us all. no pun intended. let go, live a little.. surprise your partner with an alaskan pipeline. hands down, it's way better than bringing home flowers or some stupid shit like that.
boston pancake
When a lover defecates on another lovers chest. WITH PERMISSION. Then pats down the feces with his buttox to make it into a flat surface. Then the man ejaculates on the feces which acts as the syrup.
Abe Lincoln
When an unconscious person gets jizzed on their face, gets their pubes cut and applied to their face to form a beard, then adorned with a top hat.
blumpkin
The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump.
Reverse Blumpkin
A variation of the blumpkin where one gives oral sex whilst evacuating their bowels, thus utilizing both alpha and omega of the ailimentary canal simultaneously.
Or in laymans terms, when one sucks a cock at the same time they are also beaming Schatner off the Enterprise....the sucker is the crapper.
Note: The money shot should occur at the precise moment of final fecal release, thus synchronizing anal closure with ejaculation.
hot carl
the act of putting seran-wrap on ones face and proceeding to take a hot steamy shit on the seran-wrap, thus letting them feel the warmth of the poo on their face.
Donkey Punch
The Donkey Punch is when your engaged in anal sex and when your about to ejaculate you punch the poor little lady in the back of the head so her anal cavity tightens making the orgasm all that more better (for you ofcourse).
angry dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
I gave your mom an angry dragon last night!
Strawberry Shortcake
As you cum on your girlfriends face you punch her right in the nose, causing a nose bleed which then combines with your cum.
Damn yo, My girlfriend was hungry so I gave her a strawberry shortcake.
new delhi dot
After anal sex, poke your partner right between the eyes with your fecal covered cock. If you do it correctly, it should leave a "shit dot" similar to that worn by Hindus.
newnan burrito
Wrap your cock in a tortilla and fill the tortilla with whatever a normal burrito would have (sour cream, cheese, maybe hot sauce) and then start having anal sex. Before you cum, you stick the newnan burrito in the woman's mouth, giving the taste of cock and burrito.
Mary kept asking me for mexican food last night, so i gave her a newnan burrito.
space docking
When a man shits into a womans vagina.
cherry cream pie
A timely variation of a regular cream pie; The visual impression of a females vulva after completing unprotected intercourse during her monthly menstrual cycle.
Hot Lips Houlahan
Before you have sex with a woman, put tabasco sauce on the OUTSIDE of the condom, her pussy lips will be on fire in no time. If you want to cool the burn, pull out and hose it down. (this may also work for BJs.)
jona and the whale
When a male inserts his erect penis into the mouth of another and then cums in the asshole of the same person. Then that person farts the semen out of the asshole so it looks like a blowhole.
Jane an Bob went home after a couple of drinks and performed, Jona and the Whale.
Tony Danza
To clarify, the Tony Danza is when you are balls-deep in a woman from behind and while ramming her mercilessly, you proceed to yell, "Who's the boss?! Who's the boss, bitch?!" Typically, she will yell, "You are!" at which point you turn her around, slap her with your cock and yell, "No. Tony Danza's the boss, bitch"
Rusty Trombone
To get rimmed whilst recieving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.
pink sock
(n) this is the result of excessive anal plundering; the intestines actually exit through the anus, forming a dangling mass, resembling a pink sock.
Alligator Fuckhouse
A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!
alaskan pipeline
n: the act of pooping in to a condom, freezing the rubber overnight, then inserting it in to ones anus.
angry pirate
when a woman is giving a man head, he pulls out, and nuts in her eye. Upon doing this, she will let out some sort of grunt of disapproval, and at this point he kicks her in the shin. This poor girl, being pissed and hurt, will hobble after your laughing ass.
dude,i gave your sister an angry pirate, and thats why she's limping a little...(don't ask why she's walking like she has a stick up her ass... thats a whole different story dude.)
Birmingham booty call
Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.
I met this freak bitch in Alabama, and she intoduced me to the Birmingham booty call.
Microwave a Melon
To put a melon in a microwave long enough to warm it in and out. Then cut a hole in it and proceed to have sex with it. (only for the MOST desperate of people).
I think i will microwave a melon and have sex with it.
dirty gas pump
starting off with simple tea-bagging, making sure that her nose is between your ass cheeks, and as she is jacking you off, you fart as much as possible.
I know she wants a dirty gas pump when she insists on paying at the local mexican restaraunt.
dump truck
tucking the cock and balls between the legs and proceeding to ejaculate in the female's mouth while backing up and dropping a steamy load on her chest making crazy beeping noises like a dump truck
"Beep Beep Beep," said Little Eugene as he dropped a killer deuce all over Molly and her twin sister. "Now THAT's what I call a dump truck!"
rotton oyster
When a man is having sex with a woman that has a foul smelling/tasting vagina, and right before you cum you pull out, stick your dick in her mouth so she can taste her nasty vagina and cum in her mouth.
I was giving a woman oral sex and decided she needed a rotton oyster, so that she could taste what I tasted.
Dirty Fish Hook
When you stick yer finger up a chick's poop chute, hop on her back, stick yer finger in her mouth, and give the 'ol fish hook.
Clay couldn't wait to give his wife the dirty fish hook and make her taste her own feces.
Penis leach
Some one who sucks a lot of penis. Who is basically feeding off of it.
That Girl is a Penis leach.
Posts
